"That last one was all about me as a kiddie. Now here's one for the
present crop of horrors"

Spare the rod and spoil the child
That's what Grandpa used to say
And he's tan our hides
If we even looked his way

Other means are now employed
Thanks to Schopenhauer and Freud
Even though you hit them
You must not frustrate them

Don't upset the little kiddie winks
The little kiddie winks of today
You must never ever beat them
The right way to treat them
Is let them go their own sweet way

And don't upset the little lay abouts
Just let them play about, scott free
Just put on their golshes
And hand them their coshes
And keep them away from me

You must let each little monster
Do exactly as he wants to
Though you know he's gonna take you for a chump
You must treat each little treasure
To some psychiatric measure
But you must never kick him up the rump

And never strike the little poppin' jays
Though to coin a phrase, they stinks
Don't scare the little baskets
It's not much to ask it's
The way that every modern teacher thinks
Don't upset the little kiddie winks

Don't upset the little kiddie winks
The pretty kiddie winks, the little dears
Though it seems the devils got 'em
One smack on the bottom
Might prejudice their whole careers

Don't forget each bedtime story
Must be adequetly gory
For they claim we're all descended from the apes
If you really want to please them
No more witches on a beeson
Give them arson, give them murder, give them rape

So if you find the curly headed pets
Are buying cigarettes and drinks
Don't push 'em down the plug'ole
No clouts on the lug'ole
You must remain impassive as the shinx
And don't upset the little kiddiewinks.
